hawkethat | gargleblasted Contact

...Am I that predictable?

[He asks as if he doesn't already know the answer. Whatever. He's a horny asshole, what can he say?]

You are, love.

[It's okay, Anders enjoys the attention a great deal, please do keep that up. Although they should probably get Pearl out of the bath before starting anything.]

How do you even put up with me?

[Don't worry, Pearl will remind them she's there! This time with a series of excited, breathy huffs and whines, because she's finally caught her ball! Did you see her, Grumpy Papa? Did you see her, Beardy Papa? She needs some praise here, okay? Okay!]

It's a mystery.

[nooo, Pearl, don't disrupt their sexy times!! Although they really should be paying attention to her, in case she gets tired. So Anders will pull away about half an inch to check on her.]

...Your dog has learned how to catch a ball.

What a good girl! You caught that all by yourself? That's my girl!

[The switch from sexytimes to puppytimes is pretty much instantaneous. Sorry, Anders, Hawke is pulling away now to pet the clever puppy who caught her ball despite all the odds.]

[he's used to it. He knows he'll get sexytimes later. He'll still sigh, though, because clearly Hawke has all the wrong priorities.

Even though it's difficult not to laugh at Pearl's excitement. Especially when she yips in agreement with Hawke and accidentally drops the ball again. The poor puppy.]

I don't think she thought that one through.

[~~adorable~~]

Dogs are not generally known for things like foresight.

[He'll be reaching over to unstop the bath and begin letting the water out, now. If he were to just pick her up she'd attempt to shake off the water while still in his hands, which had a tendency to get water everywhere. So he's learned to let the water drain first, after which she'll shake while still (mostly) within the tub, and he can pick her up and wrap her in a towel.]

You live right in the moment and nowhere else, don't you, little girl?

[That last remark is addressed to Pearl, obviously. >.>]

She seems happier for it.

[...yeah, definitely growing fond of her. Although he's backing off, knowing what comes next.

Though really, he's already partially wet.]

Everyone could stand to learn a thing or two from dogs.

[Clearly, dogs are wise!

And Anders is already practically naked, what is he backing off for? Oh, well, Hawke will get the towel shield ready for the inevitable spray-down. The bath drains incredibly quickly, and it's not very long at all before Pearl is standing instead of floating, and once she's got all four tiny paws firmly on the bath's shiny bottom, she gives a great shake of her entire tiny body, spraying water everywhere, and poofing out her hair in the process.]

Good girl!

[He says as he swoops in with the towel, draping it over her and picking her up, whereupon she immediately begins wiggling and trying to lick his face, despite being nowhere near it.]

I'm not sure I'd go that far, love.

[Because being close to dogs is dangerous. That tongue, too, must be avoided. And he knows Hawke loves taking care of her, so he'll be nice and let him do it!

That, or it's just habit by now.]

You especially could stand to learn a thing or two.

[He's teasing. And wrapping Pearl up into a little pomeranian burrito, so she can't lick his face. Because he wants to lean into Anders and kiss his face. Which he does.]

Like how to be inappropriately affectionate?

[That is an adorable pompom burrito. And he loves being kissed. This day is pretty good, despite the coffee disaster.]

There's no such thing as inappropriate affection.

[Uh, yes there is, Hawke. But w/e, he doesn't care, all he cares about is kissing Anders. Which he does. Very thoroughly.]

[And Anders is going to kiss back. Just as thoroughly. While the Pearl burrito goes sadly neglected.]

[Pearl Burrito is nestled snugly in Hawke's arms and the towel is soaking up the damp, she can hang for a few while Hawke takes care of his and Anders' needs.]

[If they take too long she is totally going to try to get in on this and start licking their chins.]

[Yeah they'll want to avoid puppies trying to get in on this, that's just gross. Also, Anders would like more than just kisses, since Hawke teased him before. So breaking that kiss now.]

You're impossible, love.

I'm impossible? How so?

[It's not like he's mysterious or hard to please or anything. Excuse him, he's going to start toweling the pompom burrito dry, now.]

In just about every way.

[and he's going to kiss Hawke's cheek before going to chase his cats away from the spilled coffee. Again.]

That didn't really answer my question.

[He'll stay in the bathroom for a few minutes to finish toweling Pearl dry. She enjoys the attention immensely, and manages to sneak in a few face licks besides.]

How about impossibly horny, then.

[gonna grab a washcloth and clean up that coffee.]

I suppose that's acceptable.

[No sense in denying it, after all.]

Once the hairball is asleep, maybe you can actually finish what you started.

Did you imagine I would be doing anything else?

[Come on, Anders, you're wet and practically naked, do you really think Hawke can resist that?]

I feel I deserve it after taking care of your dog for fifteen minutes.

[even though he... didn't actually mind. Shh.]

Pull the other one. You were deliberately playing with her when I walked in on you. Don't try to pretend you weren't.

[Look how happy that makes Hawke, Anders.]

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