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Because you believe I'll starve to death.

[This one is cut short by continued eating, but Hawke probably won't mind that, either.]

No, you occasionally just spend an hour staring at yourself in the mirror, to make sure it's even.

If you don't eat, you die. There's not a whole lot of belief there so much as irrefutable fact.

[Yes, good, keep eating, Anders...!

Meanwhile Hawke grabs that bread he had Anders set out, butters a couple of slices, and...puts one on Anders' plate. Whoops.]

Yes, occasionally. That's not an every day thing either.

... I do know that.

[Why is he even bringing this up again? There's no point. No one can out-stubborn Hawke.

He'll just take a bite out of that bread, then.]

Which means that on average, you still spend about an hour on your beard each day. It's your manners that make you uncultured, not your facial hair.

Just...making sure.

[Hawke is the most stubborn! And also stretching out his legs under the table to nudge at Anders' feet with his toes.]

There are some who would beg to differ. About my beard, that is. No one would argue about my terrible manners.

I am a healer.

[It just doesn't apply to himself, clearly. Although that might be the spirit in him, since Justice isn't used to depending on regular sustenance. Whoops.

Nudging right back, though.]

They're only jealous.

A healer who applies all of his knowledge, skill, and consideration to everyone except himself.

[Commence dinnertime footsie]

Jealous of what? My beard or my manners?

[Why is he even still arguing.]

Why am I even still arguing?

[nuuuudge nudge nudge. Wait, can he slide his foot up higher? Going for the inside of Hawke's thigh now, to distract him.]

Your beard. No one would be jealous of your manners.

I'm not sure. Because arguing is fun?

[Oh my, Anders, so forward! He will totally not complain (strongly or believably, anyway) about how very distracting that is.]

...That's what I thought. Anyone jealous of my manners is in need of some good, thorough soul-searching.

Or you bring it out in people.

[Blame everything on Hawke! While continuing to rub against him with his foot, because he can, and because it means he might have a chance of winning. Maybe.]

They could be jealous of your confidence. Although that's not really the same thing.

If I do, it's entirely unintentional. Most of the time.

[Oh yeah, well, two can play at that game! Hawke's going to keep nudging and sliding his foot against Anders' legs under the table too.]

It really isn't. They're probably just jealous of my beard. [SHRUG]

Most of the time.

[...this is distracting him from eating. Whoops.]

Anyone would be. Even I am a bit.

I only rarely instigate. It's almost always the other person's fault.

[...Shit, this is not going as planned. Abort! Abort!]

I bet you'd look good with a beard.

Is that really how you see it?

[But! Teasing! Flirting! He's so easily distracted from food these days.]

The last time I started to grow one, you told me to shave it.

[Remember? After he was locked up for two weeks?]

Well, I never intentionally argue with you...

[That's all that really matters, right? And jeez, Anders, concentrate on the delicious meal Hawke prepared for you. He'll be leaning across the table to nudge Anders' plate as a gentle reminder.]

...Oh yeah, I did, huh?

[Whoops.]

It isn't exactly a serious argument we were having.

[Aaand he starts eating again. This is pretty much routine for them by now.]

A proper beard takes too much time to maintain for me. I don't have an hour each morning.

It really isn't. ...Does it even qualify as an argument?

[He watches Anders for a moment or two before turning back to his own plate. But not for too long...!]

I don't spend an hour on it.

[It's really only like...forty minutes. >.>]

It qualifies as you being an incredibly stubborn man.

[They can nom chicken in between talking. It's not like dinner has to be rushed.]

It's as good as, love.

Well, someone has to out-stubborn you into taking care of yourself.

[This is true! Though a slow dinner means delayed cuddles...]

I have to make sure it's presentable.

[Defensive? Hawke? Nooooo...

...Well. Maybe just a little bit...]

I don't want you feeling like you have to.

[...That's his guilt slipping through again. It does that.]

Are you ever presentable?

[you're so easy to tease, Hawke.]

Stop that.

[He nudges Anders' foot with his to emphasize his point. No guilt complexes allowed!]

I don't do it because I feel like I have to, I do it because I want to.

[He pauses and grins a little.]

I'm not, no. That doesn't mean my beard can't be, though.

I doubt feeding me is what you thought you were signing up for.

[Guilt tends to ruin his appetite, but... considering the topic, he'll do his best to keep eating anyway. And he knows he shouldn't be bringing this up now, so he'll go back to teasing:]

What if I distracted you from trimming your beard?

You might be surprised.

[He can see the guilt in Anders' eyes, and he would be a pretty shitty lover indeed if he hadn't figured out what causes that by now, so he (very tactfully, he thinks!) backs off, and allows Anders to tease him.]

Hmmm, you know, I'm not sure. You'd have to take that one up with my beard.

[And he'll drop it, because tonight should be all about Hawke. And he's being selfish.]

I wouldn't dare go up against your beard.

That's an interesting idea, though. What would happen if I stopped trimming it?

[Uh, Hawke, that's a no-brainer: it would look awful and you would feel awful. Duh.]

You would hide under a blanket and refuse to go outside.

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hawkethat - 2013-09-18 03:31 (UTC) - Expand